The biggest mistake I ever made was kissing that frog.
Why'd I kiss a frog? Hey, how's your love life?

 Any ways, we were a little bit pie-eyed (okay, Louanne actually staggered on her way to the little girls room and I was starting to see double).  Ten or twelve rounds of Black Russians will do that to you.  We decided it was time to go.

 Had my friend, "Tony the Bouncer" call us a taxi.  Tony's built like a brick wall, but his boyfriend is the jealous type.

 We were waiting outside in the damp, summer air, a slight mist, rising from the ground. Louanne spotted this frog.

 "Hey, I wonder if it's true."

 "What?" Dottie was trying hard to focus.

 "You know, kiss a frog and it turns into a prince."

 I laughed so hard, I had to lean against the wall for support.  Didn't work, I ended up sliding down the wall on my butt.

 Louanne huffed, "Mama always told me, 'You've got a kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince'."

 "She didn't mean it, literally."  I choked out, wiping tears from my eyes.

 "Oh?  Well, he seems to like you."

 I followed Louanne's gaze and sure enough, that damn frog was sitting there, looking at me with its big, sad, green eyes.  "Come here, baby."  I crooned. Sure seemed like it understood me, it hopped right onto my lap.

 I waited a moment, until both Louanne and Dottie caught on.

Dottie turned green.

Louanne was smiling. An "I dare you," expression.

So, I picked it up and kissed it.

Dottie ran around to the side of the bar to throw up and Louanne howled with laughter. The frog was just a frog and I let it go.  I watched it hop away into the mist.

 "Well, it was worth a try."  I climbed to my feet with difficulty.  Made it, just as Dottie came back around the corner, wiping her mouth on a Kleenex and the taxi showed up.

 "Mandy, look."

 I looked. Walking out of the mist where the frog had disappeared was the most gorgeous male I have ever seen.  I blinked a few times, ignoring the taxi driver, who was beginning to complain about our delay.

 He was looking right at me.  I felt the strangest twisting in my gut.  I was grinning like a lunatic.

 "I know you." He said in a deep, smoky voice.

 "Really?"

 "Yeah, you're Tony's friend.  Hi, I'm Matt, Tony's other half."  I accepted his hand, feeling stupid.

 "Come on." I muttered to Louanne and Dottie, getting into the Taxi as quickly as I could. How could I, even for a second have thought . . .

 "What's that guy's problem?"  The Taxi driver complained, swerving to miss a tall, dark shadow, standing in the middle of the drive.  The head lights shone briefly on his handsome face and green eyes.

 No way. Couldn't be, could it?  I had no intention of stopping to find out.

Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.    Everyone knows frogs don't turn into princes, right?  I'm right, aren't I?

Please, tell me I'm right. . .

It's been driving me crazy ever since, the biggest mistake I ever made was kissing that frog!